


It’s Okay to Cry

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Boys In Love, Bring tissues, Crying, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Grief/Mourning, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Light Angst, Loki (Marvel) Angst, Loki (Marvel) Feels, Loki (Marvel) Gets a Hug, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Love, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Ouch, Post-Thor: The Dark World, Sweet, Tony Stark is a good boyfriend, Wordcount: 1.000-5.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-26
Packaged: 2019-04-08 09:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14102214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: After three years together, Loki and Tony know how to comfort each other. They know how to sooth the pain of the past and to help remember the happiness of their future.





	It’s Okay to Cry

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/gifts).



> Sooo, I hadn't planned to post something else today, but I opened this prompt document and ended up writing the whole thing and since this was originally given to me in oh, say, _November last year_ , I figured the sooner the better XD
> 
> This was based on a comment thread between **dls** and I about Loki crying. I hope you all like, and especially you **dls**! Sorry this took so long! And hopefully it lives up to our conversation ;P

Tony made his way into the penthouse quietly, his socked feet soundless against the floor, but he still knew his lover would know he was there.

Loki was standing beside the windows that overlooked New York, his arms were crossed and he was standing stiffly. Tony didn’t know what had happened, he only knew that Thor had shown up and asked to speak to Loki in the middle of the night. He’d pulled the mage aside and handed him something, whispering in his ear and cupping Loki’s neck. Loki had been frozen, his face blank but for the tightening of his eyes as he took the item. 

When Thor had left, Tony had taken one look at his lover before softly suggesting, “Maybe I should head down to the lab?” 

Loki had swallowed thickly before giving a very slow nod. Tony had left in his pyjamas, running a soothing hand down his lover’s arm but otherwise leaving him to be monitored by JARVIS as Tony gave Loki space to work through whatever had just happened.

He’d been with Loki for almost three years and he knew his lover well; he knew when Loki wanted Tony to stay close and comfort him and he also knew when Loki wanted his space. This time, it was the latter and Tony made himself stay down in the lab for a good hour, tinkering with a couple of projects, playing fetch with Dum-e and asking JARVIS for updates on Loki every few minutes.

It had taken Loki almost that entire hour to even move from where Thor had left him, making his way to the window and staring out at the city, the item clutched in his hands. Tony had taken that motion as a sign to reappear.

It was what had him here now, making a direct line towards his lover, watching him carefully for any subtly signs that would indicate a wish to be left alone or a refusal to be touched. When Tony saw none, he slipped in close behind his lover, wrapping his arms around Loki’s hips in a loose hug while he rested his cheek in the centre of Loki’s back. 

They stayed there for a long time, Loki’s breathing soft and slow and Tony’s thumbs rubbing soothingly through the mage’s shirt. 

Eventually, Tony asked his lover gently, “Are you okay, Loki?”

There was no verbal response, but Tony felt Loki’s body tremble and he shifted his head to better see Loki’s face. He sucked in a short breath when he saw silent tears rolling down Loki’s cheeks, over his jaw and down his neck. Loki’s eyes were shut and his jaw quivered with how tightly he was clenching his teeth, holding in any sound.

Tony’s heart ached at the sight and he made a small shushing sound, moving onto his tiptoes to kiss Loki’s neck, tasting tears but continuing to place his lips in tender, soothing kisses as he tugged Loki tighter to him. He could hear Loki’s breathing catching with every affectionate touch he gave, as if his presence was slowly weathering away at the finite control Loki had over his emotions.

It caused Tony to make a quick decision as he unwound his arms, but never removed them completely from the mage as he moved around in front of Loki. The item--a book--was still clutched in his hand, but Tony barely glanced at it as he pressed his chest against Loki’s, the item held between them as he wrapped an arm more securely around Loki’s back while his other hand went to the back of Loki’s head and tugged the taller man down. When Loki’s face was hidden by his neck, Tony moved his hands to rub Loki’s back as he murmured soft words of comfort and love.

It took less than a minute for Loki’s arms to stiffly slip out from between their bodies to wrap around Tony in return. Tony could feel the book against his back, but it was secondary to how tightly Loki clung to him and how frequently Loki’s tears begun to pour.

There was _grief_ in the way he held Tony, there was pain in the way his sobs hitched his breath and made him gasp.

Tony couldn’t have said how long they stood there, only that he continued to hold, support and comfort Loki until the last of his tears were spent, until he was almost slumped against Tony and seemed drained of all emotion. It was only when he felt Loki was ready, that he gently encouraged Loki to walk with him back to their bed; Loki didn’t resist and he held the book tight against his chest with one hand while the other dug tightly into Tony’s hip.

When they made their way to the bedroom, they climbed directly back under the disturbed covers from when Thor had awoken them. This time, Loki was the one to rest his head against Tony’s chest, an arm thrown around his hips and the book between them as Tony stroked soft fingers through Loki’s hair.

When soft, classical music began to fill the speakers--one of Loki’s favourite pieces--Tony flicked his eyes towards one of the ceiling cameras and mouthed, ‘ _Thanks, J_ ’ getting a small flash of a light to know his message had been received.

The room was silent but for the music, rising and falling in soft waves meant to sooth and calm. There was no obligation for an explanation, but Tony was willing to listen if Loki wanted to speak. It only took two songs, before Loki took the silent and open offer.

“Thor was cleaning out mother’s rooms,” Loki whispered softly, instantly drawing Tony’s attention, but Loki was looking at the book in his hand, his fingers gently stroking it. “He found this.” 

Loki swallowed thickly, the emotion in his voice hard to hide as he uncurled his arm from Tony and opened the book, bringing it closer to better show Tony the beautiful pages contained within.

“We wrote this together in my youth,” he told Tony roughly as he revealed beautiful drawings, precise instructions and notations all written in Asgardian and drawn by two different hands. “She taught me magic and I taught her new spells she never knew.” He smiled even as a new tear slipped down his cheek. “We never finished,” Loki continued, his voice watery. “I believed myself too old for such things and ceased to spend the time with her. Eventually, she did not ask me to help.” Loki’s eyes closed tightly. “I thought this book long discarded and lost.”

“But she kept it,” Tony softly told him, bringing his fingers to Loki’s cheek, wiping away the latest tear. “She cherished it, just like she cherished you.”

Loki just quelled another sob, opening red-rimmed, watery eyes to look up at Tony; the expression on his face was one of desperation and guilt; seeking absolution and the ability to grieve without regrets or self-hatred. Something, Tony knew well.

Cupping Loki’s cheek, Tony bent down and kissed his lover softly; it was only a short, chaste peck before he pulled back and told the mage. “You know she loved you, Loki, and her death wasn’t your fault.”

It was something they’d both talked about many times; Maria and Frigga. Their mothers both taken violently and before they should have ever been lost. They both still had anger and regret, and they’d both pushed their mothers away at a time when they shouldn’t have. 

They also knew the truth and that they were not at fault, but they both found it hard to believe, especially when someone reminded them of the failures of their youth.

Reaching for the book, Tony didn’t pull it out of Loki’s grip but he did pull it close enough to rest on his chest and allow Tony to flick through the pages more easily. 

Gently, Tony asked, “Do you want to talk about making this book?”

Because sometimes it was better to talk about the good times; to share the memories with someone who hadn't been there, but who wanted to listen. Someone who was loved, trusted and cared for by the person who was grieving now.

Swallowing, Loki gave an almost imperceptible nod before turning to the first page of spell work and beginning to talk. He spoke with a voice that sounded raw and warbled on more than a few words; he also needed to stop on occasion, too caught up in a memory and the grief that came with missing his mother.

Tony never pushed, never demanded, he only listened and made occasional comments; words that would prompt a small smile or a grateful glance. He listened as Loki remembered a time from his youth when things were happier, more carefree; when he was young and full of exuberance and hope for the bright future he would have.

And while it may not have been what young Loki would have wanted or longed for as a child - while their life had its ups and downs even now; Tony did know that Loki was happy. He knew the mage knew it too, and as the stories continued, as the laughter overtook the tears, Tony knew that Loki was remembering that too.

Tony had confirmation as well, when Loki finished his latest story only to gently close the book. Moving away from Tony if only to put it on one of the nightstands, he was soon to return, pressing back against Tony and kissing him with soft affection and aching gratitude.

“Thank you,” he whispered against Tony’s lips when he pulled back. 

Tony just smiled and tugged his lover close; telling him quietly and with firm promise, “Always, Loki.”

**Author's Note:**

> *sniffles* Isn't Tony a good boyfriend to his poor, sad Loki bb? :3 
> 
> Gosh, I love writing these two. I hope you all enjoyed, thanks for reading!


End file.
